10 weeks of physical health: Day 50

***** avoid the temptation -- PLEASE read before you look at the pictures! :) :) :)

Okay so I have just zoomed through day 38 - 49! :) Talk about the craziest, most awesome two and a half weeks!!!

SO after I published that last post of Day 37 -- I got my sh*@ together! I had to just release my frustrations about how difficult being healthy can be -- especially during emotional times!!!!

Well - I have GOT IT TOGETHER for the past two weeks and have felt VERY good with my eating and exercising routine and habits!!!

I wrote a VERY long comment on my last post, in response to my aunt's comment - who I saw this weekend, which was very fun! I wish everyone could read it - because she expressed some very valid fears and concerns that I have also had and am sure many people have had and may still have! I responded to her concerns from the experience of my last two weeks or so. I talked about staying in a upward spiral and keeping your progress steady and moving upward, whether it may be slow or fast, it is still moving upward or steady --- but please don't give up, or KEEP pigging out or COMPLETELY stopping exercise, because this puts us in a downward spiral. Keep it steady and upward!!

Physical progress finally posted . . . (Emotional progress can't really be charted, but it is amazing and off the charts so far :))
SO --- I decided to post my progress pictures! How embarrassing -- but this is still something I have to overcome!

There is a little difference between the two pictures! Its kinda cool to see that!

Inches lost thus far:
I've lost 3 1/4th inches on my waist, 3 inches on my upper hips, 1 1/2 inches on lower hips, 1/4th inch on each arm, 2 inches on each leg. -- and my boobs are getting smaller -- hmmm - thats a bummer ;) (WOW! That adds up to 10 1/4th total inches so far! Wow, wierd! Ha ha ha ha! -that sounds like those stupid info-mercials that get you to buy the diet and workout products. Ha ha ha ha! Funny! :) )

Well, I have 20 more days!!! I will post the final picture on December 15th or 16th! Wooo! Hoooo!

Day 1

Day 50

day 1

day 50
The only thing I can think of with the side photos is that I look a little tighter, more tone --- other wise from the pictures there's not much difference. Although - with how my clothes fit there is a difference. :)

COOL! It is a lot easier for me to want to keep this up when I SEE the progress! GO! FIGHT! WIN! Baby!

If anyone decides to be more committed to living healthier, take before pics, its NOT fun at first, but now that I can take a pic where I SEE a difference - its a lot more fun!!!

Have a Heal-thy day! Love love love!!!

10 weeks of physical health: Day 37

Okay! Seriously! Am I incapable of continually eating healthy? Do I have a disability? (I don't mean disrespect, I am really asking myself this!) Do I have a flaw in my brain? Do I have issues with being truly healthy?

So - I just have NOT been able to do this 100%! WHAT THE HELL?!!! I am very frustrated with myself. Am I doing something wrong? I just can't get it together for longer than about 3 to 10 days at a time, and then I PIG OUT on unhealthy junk!!!

I have really tried to stay positive and just start again the next day - but I am now facing some demon inside of me saying "Neener neener neener! You caaan't dooo it!! Ha Ha!" -----AAAAHHH! I am just angry now!

I did SO great the last few days-- up until this afternoon when I just kept eating and didn't stop! AAAHHHH!

I feel like I am in a true FIGHT with myself --- with my damn self-defeating habits!!!! AAAHHH! Is this part of it? Is this part of the journey of overcoming years of icky, depressive, struggles with eating junk and over-eating --- with never rising above a certain line -- a specific level -- never actually passing that point that if I knew I did it I could keep going?

I WILL WIN THIS BATTLE! I WILL FIGHT THE FIGHT 'TIL I HAVE WON!!! AAAAAHHHH!!!!!! YES! YES! YES!

10 weeks of physical health: Days 35 & 36

I have been so tempted with delicious things the past couple days- but I have not CAVED to the temptations! Hurray!

* * *

SO I know I said that yesterday I would post more about the question What do you want?

Well, you know how life gets busy - yes - such is how it has been yesterday and today!

So here I finally continue on this subject:

I have a very long story about making what I want a reality, but I feel that may be for a later time, or on a personal one on one chat with those who may ask me in person. So here is the shorter story . . .

SO a few months ago I really began to focus on what I TRULY want. I knew that I did not have time or the reality to meditate for 20 min. a day on this subject . . . so I decided my thoughts about this would need to happen and continue as I did my daily activities. This thought was always on my mind --- I have, in the last year(but especially the last 2-3 months) really wanted to figure out what I want to do in my life and I wanted it to be something that brought me joy everyday, and something that I had control over. (I'm sick of workin' for the "Man")

Each day I would have thoughts continually in my mind, asking my inner self, my true self, "I want to know what I truly want! What will fulfill this desire in my heart?" So then as I went about my day I would repeat the phrase, "Be still and know!" Because I knew that if I could quiet my innerself as I went about my day I truly would KNOW what I wanted and what would bring me my joy! I wanted something that I would get excited and gitty about everyday! I knew it was there!

So thus below is the result of pondering and asking for guidance from within - what will bring me that true joy from the depths of my heart, that would allow me to generate that energy from me of joy, peace, and love to others! This is it . . . the beginnings of it and it is continually growing! This came from my true self, my inner self and everyday, endless things are being presented in my life to move forward with this passion! I am so grateful! I love it!

My Bakery . . . Ar Mel's!

(click the pic to visit my blog)

The bread's in the picture are all one's I have created in promotion for Ar Mel's! IT HAS BEEN SO FUN! I AM LOVING IT!

Love love love! Have a heal-thy day!

10 weeks of Physical Health: Days 31-34

Progress! . . . So Wednesday it snowed all day long! I WAS NOT READY FOR THE SNOW! I found that it triggered quite the variety of emotions, and I am still struggling with them! I was surprised, then very angry, then happy, then VERY HUNGRY! then felt whatever about it, then depressed - I think cause I kept eating! So all these feelings have unmasked over the last few days!

I am learning to be in tune with my emotions! It is becoming VERY important to me, because I am learning that my emotions are always true to myself! Does that make sense? My emotions are always sending me messages about what I need and telling me what is going on! I feel like I have been interpreting them wrong, or ignoring them.

I called a very good friend of mine the day it snowed and asked him his thoughts on why I was so angry about this snow. He said the first thing that came to his mind was that it is a sign of change, or getting older, a new season, and that it is a realization that I am maybe not at the point I want to be in my life at this particular time. Maybe I thought I would accomplish more along my path by the time the seasons changed. - - - This is of course how I processed what he said, and I think that my body and mind went into panic mode and thought "Wait! It can't snow yet! I'm not ready for the change or time to keep moving forward. The time for completing my goals is fastly approaching and I am not where I thought I would be with it!" Also, I think the holiday season is more busy than we expect and I perhaps realized I am not ready for that! *** But this is part of the progress in our lives, in my life. Time is just something that is happening - and this experience for me helped in my progress of change, or goal completion, or my journey. It is all part of the discovery!!!
--- SO I am having to make an even more conscious effort to be physically and emotionally healthy! I am continually thanking my emotions for coming and am starting to read my emotions and what I need and trying to figure out how to fulfill that need healthily and appropriately rather than with chocolate, or food! :) like I have done in the past. Food is a temporary fix, and very unsatisfying for the long term satisfaction. My emotions are a gift and they are telling me something and if I ignore them or fight them, the flo in my life is interrupted, thus resulting in unhappiness. Emotions are all a part of the natural flo of our own personal lives and experience. LOVE them and thank them and pay attention to what your emotions are really telling you!

The reason I feel like all of this is PROGRESS is because I am knowing now that physical health starts with emotional health. We've got to process through these emotions, in order to feel different all over, emotionally and physically.

* * *

As for the question What do you want?

I will elaborate more tomorrow - but here is a start on what I have discovered:

I already have the knowledge of what I truly want - it is inside of me - all the answers are all there - I have had to quiet myself and say to myself: I want to really know what I want - please help me be aware and show me. (do this and things in life with show-up or thoughts will come to you, directing you to what satisfies YOU)

I want to be happy, feel peace about every situation in my life! I want LOVE all around me and I want to generate that to others!

So how can this be? I decided I need to create that in what I do daily. (now this is just for me - all people are different)

I will share more tomorrow about what I have discovered, and my true joy - as in doing something that brings me joy- (which is a start)

LOVE LOVE LOVE! Have a beautiful, heal-thy day!

10 weeks of physical health: Day 25 - 30

5 days of candy everywhere around me! How do you be physically healthy with bags of TRICK 'O TREAT candy everywhere --- at home, at work, from kids school class, from Halloween night! Well - I will admitt I did very good and only had a few pieces of candy on Halloween - but the weekend to follow is where I CAVED! I had enough for about 5 people on Saturday and Sunday night. -- I guess the fact that I ate very healthy all day on those days, until the evening, perhaps helps!

Done with that! I am sick of candy - and am back on track!

* * *

Thought for the week! I will focus on the following subject and DISCUSSION this week:

What do you want?

Ask yourself -- What do I want?

Really -- Truly! This is one of the most important things that I have discovered for myself recently! I have been discovering WHAT I WANT!

It is amazing! It also feels sooo good! I believe that this is one question that undeservingly gets several answers -- such as follows:

• "I am too busy to think about what I want! I have my family to think about - my kids, spouse, earning money ...!" (the list goes on and on)
  


• "I don't think I really deserve what I really want!" (first of all - do you KNOW what you REALLY want?)


• "I am just biding my time. I will get what I want when my kids are older and less dependent on me!" (Those who are "older" are probably laughing :))
  


• "I don't have the money to have what I want!" (I must ask again -- Do you KNOW what you REALLY want?)
  

What other excuses or explainations do you find yourself saying to avoid this question: What do I want?

Start thinking . . . and now that these wheels are turning . . . share your thoughts if you wish . . . share what you think you want or know you want. Help us out - give others some ideas.

Tomorrow I will post some ways to find out what you truly want! Just get those wheels turning!