I actually did okay today. We went on a Sweets Candy Factory tour with the kids at my work and I only had a couple pieces of candy. That is very good for me because I am such a sugar hound! I ate pretty healthy other than that and I stopped eating around 6:30pm. (I'm kinda hungry right now - but i won't give in ;)
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Okay . . . so for my thoughts I will share today I decided to move inward for a bit. By inward I mean, within myself, my soul. The second half to the name of this blog is Heal-Thy Body. I believe that to be healthy one must heal the inside as well. I really believe that is where is all starts.
So here is "Amy Opens Up" chapter 1. ;) . . . At the beginning of this year I declared (on my other blog, actually) publically that 2008 is my year of cleansing and perging. Well, it has been amazing to experience one thing being lead to the next thing, in this process for me. . . Right now I am realizing a hard reality for myself (which is soooo good, it is all part of it). On the outside, I think, I have tried to put on a reality of not worrying about what others think, or that material things don't matter or that other peoples opinions really mean nothing compared to my own, etc. . . Well - my real/true thought patterns are being made aware to me . . . I am now seeing that I have always done the exact opposite in reality. I rarely look within myself. I am always looking outside of me (like many of us do, because that is what the world teaches). Despite the facade I've realized I have tried to create, I have always been worried about what others think, wanting another persons opinion, wanting a different house, a different body, and body likes "hers", a house like "theirs", friends like "theirs", a job like "that", what if someone comes over and sees how messy my house is (so I clean it - not for me, for "them"), etc. Does this make sense? I have been all too consumed with this and it is truly a hard reality for me to face. I so badly want to live from LOVE, from within myself, from my "True Self." I believe this is why I am realizing this, so I can break this thought pattern. I know this may sound . . . well I don't know . . . but the most important thing I have realized is, that I have been so consumed with thinking about what others think, and all that is outside of me that I never want to think of "me", or look at "me" - and when I do think of myself I think "I am not good enough for that" or "Of course that would not work out for me - I don't deserve that" etc. So many downers about me - - I never want to look at "me." ----- Okay so I am NOT writing this so that in a comment you can lift me up with wonderful affirmations or tell me how great you think I am. I am writing this because these are real thoughts I have had most of my life. I am sure they started by my interpretation of things as I have grown up and in my adult experiences. I now have realized this - - - with that knowledge I can break this pattern! It is actually very empowering!!! I am in the process of breaking it and I am going through a little bit of a hellish experience at times with it, but then I have moments of realization and bliss. I am cleansing my soul. I am healing my body and soul. So --- I am going to get spiritual on ya . . . I truly believe and know that by learning to live from love which comes from our inner being, this is how we come to know God (or whatever Higher Power you believe in). . . and I believe that learning to know our true selves within . . . this is what our souls long for --- and until then we will continue to look for outer things to satisfy our soul, and we will never truly find the deep satisfaction we keep reaching for. So may we all take some time to look within today :) Love Love!I am on a forward progressing journey! Thanks for reading and thanks for letting me share. I hope you can find ways to Heal-Thy Body! Have a blissful day!
3 comments:
thanks ame . . . that's a good one.
It's kind of scary, isn't it? When you take control of your life and live the life YOU want, it's empowering yet, frightening at the same time. I've been thinking a lot about this too lately. I think we can take a big lesson from our kids on this topic. If they were left to make their own decisions, they would fully choose what their heart desires, not what they think they SHOULD want. Make sense? You're fantastic, thanks for sharing this so honestly, that's one huge step into the world you want to create for yourself!! I LOVE YOU BABE!!!!
Thanks! Love you too!
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